My Top Ten Rules for International Business Conference Travel.

Traveling for Business is One Thing; Traveling for an International Business Conference is Something Else.

I’ve attended hundreds of business conferences all over the world, both as a name tag-carrying attendee and as a guest lecturer, and this travel subspecies has special set of important dos and don’ts all its own.

(Just pretend you don’t know me.)

RULE #10: When getting off the plane or checking into the hotel, NEVER acknowledge, greet, or otherwise indicate your awareness of, another colleague who has just gotten off the plane or checked into the hotel. Your respective mutual dignity requires feigned invisibility. You probably look and feel awful, having just crossed several time zones and been through the trials of purgatory that is modern business travel. So have they. Think of meeting your neighbor taking out the garbage at 6 am: Just like that.

RULE #9: Keep your health to yourself. Nobody wants to hear about your recent bout with Montezuma’s revenge, or why you couldn’t attend that keynote because you had to spend the day in your hotel room after having mistakenly used the tap water to brush your teeth the day before. Similarly, never admit to ANYTHING that makes you look less than James Bond cool: YOU never misplace your passport, YOU never forget your electrical adapter, YOU always pack all the right clothes with you, and YOU had absolutely NO problem getting your visa in plenty of time.

RULE #8: NEVER eat breakfast in the breakfast room before 7 am. If you do, it means you haven’t worked out at 6 am, which you need to mention to everyone all the time that you do, no matter the night before. Always pack your workout clothes, even if you never take them out of the suitcase, and always order room service breakfast if you must eat before 7 am.